“Advice I Ignored” is a nonfiction story about a girl who struggles with depression and faces her demons to share realistic self care for teens.
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I received an advanced reader copy of this book for review. Mental health in general – and depression specifically – are issues you should talk with your doctor about. I’m not a medical professional and this post is based on my personal experience.
About the book
From the publisher:
When Ruby Walker was 15 going on 16, she went from a numb, silent, miserable high school dropout to a joyous loudmouth in one year flat. “Advice I Ignored” answers the question everyone’s been asking her since: What happened? Full of stories, honest advice, fierce hope, and over 100 hand-inked illustrations, “Advice I Ignored” is an important resource for teens suffering from depression (which has reached epidemic proportions), parents who have one, and educators who want to help. Applicable for adults suffering too!
Mental Health Awareness
May is Mental Health Awareness Month, but there’s never a wrong time to focus on your mental health.
No matter your age, it’s important to take care of you. A little self care can go a long way, but it’s also important to get help when you need it.
When it comes to mental health, it’s the process that makes the story, not the end results. And the thing about depression and other mental health conditions is that there is no step-by-step process. It is messy. And there isn’t really an end, in the same way, there is when accomplishing a goal like “get out of debt” or “achieve career success” because, in the end, mental health struggles don’t go away. You just learn how to manage them.
There are two things Rubys says in the first half of the book that stood out to me.
1. Like any relationship, liking and loving yourself takes time and work.
2. You can never make everyone understand you. Your self-esteem can’t be dependent on other people. It is all about you.
Self care 101
Doing self care isn’t about having a spa day or indulging in your favorite foods or even reading a good book. Self care is literally taking care of yourself. So ask yourself, what do you need right now?
If you feel like you’re struggling, try this:
Eat something.
You need food even when you don’t feel hungry. If you aren’t eating three meals a day, make that your goal.
- Good: Literally anything that’s food.
- Better: Find something healthy, like fresh fruit, whole grains, or peanut butter.
Drink water.
Your body is mostly water and is easily dehydrated. Think about how a plant perks up when you water it.
- Good: Juice, tea, or flavored water.
- Better: Good old fashioned water.
Go outside and get some fresh air and sunshine.
Just like with the food and water, you’re basically a plant.
- Good: Lay on the ground on your back porch.
- Better: Go for a walk around the block.
Move your body.
Getting your heart rate up can give you a burst of energy and release endorphins, which naturally boost your mood and reduce pain.
- Good: Yoga, stretching, walking, etc.
- Better: Jogging, jumping jacks, exercise, etc.
Get out of your own head.
Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. It’s easy for negative thoughts to spiral into more negative thoughts.
- Good: Listen to positive music, text a friend about anything.
- Better: Write out everything you’re thinking on paper, call a friend on the phone.
Book review
When the PR company reached out to me to review this book, I missed the part about it being self-published. While there’s nothing wrong with self-publishing a book per se, I tend not to read those as often because they are less polished and finished.
I don’t know what went on behind the scenes before this book ended up in my hands, but as I read it I felt like many parts could benefit from editing. Sections were messy and in some places, she rambles. The story is not polished and finished.
And the thing is, that’s what makes this book perfect for teens.
Adults read a self-help book by a professional who has accomplished something looking for the tidy step-by-step process for doing the same thing themselves.
But teens who are reading a book about mental health are going to be far more impressed with a person who is still in the messy unfinished part.
Ruby says, “Something I always look for in a good story is truthfulness. Not “is this literally true in real life,” but whether it seems like the author is representing real, deep human emotions and experiences. Sometimes I read a book and it gives me the impression that the author is writing based on tropes from other media they’ve consumed. It’s imitative and it feels disingenuous. My absolute favorite stories are the ones that seem to come directly from life on an emotional level, even if they’re sci-fi stories full of aliens and whatnot.”
I think Ruby’s story is absolutely truthful and full of human emotions.
Journal therapy for self care
Writing is my favorite thing to do for my mental health and I think Ruby’s story illustrates why it’s a great method of self care for teens.
The best part is you can start right now. All you need is a pen and paper.
There are no rules. Write in sentences, blurbs, or lists. Forget about spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Don’t worry about making a point or making sense. The goal is to express what you’re feeling. When you finish, shove it in a drawer, shred it up and put it in the trash, or share it with someone if you want to.
Advice I Ignored
You can pick up a copy of “Advice I Ignored” from your favorite bookseller. It is available in paperback and Kindle from Amazon.com.
What’s next? Try these other fun and creative ideas on One Mama’s Daily Drama:
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