Ah, the epic struggle between family and work. Life is a dance that must be learned. Life is a race and we are all just trying to get to the end. Life is like a box of chocolates… There are enough cheesy metaphors about living to remind me that we all go through the same things. Sometimes though, it seems like I missed an instruction manual somewhere.
Most days, I feel like there is a battle going on between family and work. I have to work to pay the bills. And usually I want to work to feel useful. I have to take care of my family. And usually I want to spend time having fun with them. In a battle, though, there are always winners and losers. When work wins, family loses. When family wins, work loses. And no matter who wins, I always feel like I am the one who really lost.
You know, moms joke all the time about how much they would earn if they were paid for every “job” they do. We talk about being chefs and chauffeurs and nurses and housekeepers and everything else under the sun. Whether you work full-time, part-time, from home, or not at all, it seems there aren’t enough hours in the day.
Some moms – and plenty of people who aren’t – compare their lives to that of their friends and neighbors. But I really don’t think I do that. I have a few friends who are what I would consider very well-off. I don’t really know what I would do with that much money though. I have several friends who do not work because their husband’s income is sufficient. But even if we did have a six-figure income, I would still want to write because I enjoy it.
Right now I am working full-time from home. Our finances are good enough. Our family is good. The house is reasonably clean. We are eating good, healthy, whole food meals. I am happy. But I wonder how long I can keep it all balanced. I wonder when I will drop the ball in this juggling act and everything will come crashing down. It does seem that when one thing goes wrong, everything else follows suit.
I could sure use a vacation. Some paid time off. Really, some unpaid time off would be excellent if there were no expectations.
I don’t think I compare myself to other moms. I think I compare myself to myself and that is one high standard. Look how good I am doing, self. I have to keep this up. I have been less than this before and I don’t want to go back. I don’t really need to move forward either.
I am good where I am. After so much time trying to get to this point, how do I figure out how to be good with good?